“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
We all compare ourselves to others at some point. With the rise of social media and internet narcissism, being hard on ourselves has become all too common.
I’m not talking about casually taking notice of people or their achievements, but ruminating and judging yourself based on the appearance or lives of others.
Constant comparison is not only bad for your self-esteem, but will typically lead to resenting yourself as well. You’ll magnify your imperfections, grow tired of seeing yourself in the mirror, and could even lead yourself into a depression.
8 Things to Remember When Comparing Yourself to Others:
1. There Are Millions of People That Would Consider Their Problems Solved If They Could Just Get to Where You Are Now
There are an uncountable number of people that would trade places with you in an instant. Recognize the vast numbers of people that have been injured, born with disabilities, or are living with a terminal illness. Remember that there are people living right now that don’t know where their families’ next meal will come from. Perspective is key.
2. You’re Feeding into the Myth of Perfection Pushed by Society
Everyone has flaws. Some of what we aspire to is unrealistic. If you constantly depend on living up to extremely high standards, every time you fall short, you’ll see yourself as a failure or a disappointment. You won’t fully acknowledge the progress you’ve already made. Not being perfect doesn’t mean you can’t improve. You won’t be rejected for not being perfect.
3. Success Isn’t About Someone Else’s Life
This is your story to write. We all don’t start from the same place in life and everyone experiences pain and shortcomings. You don’t need to compare yourself to others to find inspiration. Let go of comparisons and define success for yourself.
4. These Comparisons Are Never Fair
We are much too unique to realistically compare to one another. You have your own strengths, achievements, and gifts. Comparisons almost never take these differences into account. We find the worst in ourselves and compare it to what we think is the best in others. You can’t judge your inside by someone else’s outside.
5. You May Not Be Able to Measure What Your Best Attributes Are
We focus so much on external sources and physical appearances that we forget there is so much more to life. Some of the greatest things available to us are things we can’t see. Love, compassion, empathy, and generosity don’t show in a selfie.
6. You Have More to Lose Than to Gain
When was the last time you gained something by comparing and criticizing? Your self-esteem, pride, and motivation will erode if you constantly focus on the negative or compare yourself to others. At best, you’ll gain a brief bump in ego from devaluing someone else. This is not acceptance.
7. This Is a Fight You Can’t Win
Even if you attain perfect success in life, there will always seem to be someone that’s ‘doing better’ than you. When your self-esteem is dependent upon external sources, you’ll never truly accept yourself or appreciate what you have. As a result, you’ll keep your self-esteem at arm’s length.
8. It’s a Lot Harder to Have Fun
When you place such a high standard on yourself, it will be increasingly difficult to relax and enjoy the present moment. The moment someone walks into the room that you feel you have to compete with, you’ll become preoccupied. Over time it will become harder to motivate yourself to go out and enjoy things.
Why This Matters
A little competition is healthy, but don’t forget that we’re all in this together.
Remind yourself how draining, damaging, and destructive this attitude is.
Realize deeply that you are enough and have plenty to offer the world.
Be kind towards yourself and take joy in the accomplishments of others.
Promote positive change in your life and make it a priority to stop comparing.
Learn to appreciate and compliment yourself.
Learn to appreciate your own company!
Photo by Daniel Xavier from Pexels